Who are you showing up for?

“How often are we changing ourselves to fit in, rather then daring to show up greatly as we are” SJ.

I recently watched Hop with my son, the movie opens with the main character having dinner with his family where it is evident he is just not measuring up to expectations. His family draw the line and say "get a job or get out!"

Later his sister breaks the rules of this family intervention to help him out, organizing a job interview for him. She says to her flailing brother, you just need to do three things, “Shower, Shave and Show up!! The three shh’s!”

Flip the story for the gold that is here, it is true we need to show up to see the results we desire in the leadership of ourselves, our businesses and our teams.

But who is it you are showing up for?

And are you showing up to fit in?

Or you showing up as you to make your impact on the world?

Without a doubt as the oldest of 8, I learnt my needs weren’t the highest priority on the list of everything that mattered in the day at our place. I inadvertently learnt that the needs of others were more important than mine, and regularly had to put what I wanted or needed aside.

And then "shame" comes to whisper in my ear is that it is wrong to have needs. Couple that with being a type two on the Enneagram (for those of you who are avid enneagram enthusiasts) you will know our biggest flaw can be not taking our own needs seriously enough, and regularly putting the needs of others over our own. So, I have regularly showed up for the needs of others, the desires of others. And in all cases sort to please the people around me to hide the shame of my own needs.

Many years ago, I felt the spirit say, Sarah I am taking you to a place where I need you not to care what people think about you. Now at 36 I’m only etching towards that millimeter at a time.

One of the best ways for me to let go of my people pleasing and recognize my own needs and wants has been in launching my business. Because it saw me breaking a few holy grail commandments...

Thou shall not work until your children are at school

Thou shall not pursue a career that can make you good money

Thou shall not share your work on what should be your private social media platforms

Thou certainly should not put your child in care when you don’t have to work

In my attempts to keep the peace, I lived below my potential, I didn’t want to outshine other mums, and I didn’t know if the burden of work or a successful image was one I could bear.

But a voice called from my future self, how ever fragile or faint, she said I’m waiting for you to believe again that you can make an impact. You can make an impact as a mum, as a wife, as a coach, as a business owner. You ‘re sitting on goal mine it’s time to use it.

So I did, I am, and I will.

And in doing so I want to invite you to do the same. It might not look like what I am doing. But it will look courageous for you, and it will feel like going against the voices that have asked you to fit in for so long.

Are you ready to start? how can you start thinking about yourself differently?

Here are a couple of questions to get you started.

1. Who do I need to be to grow with courage right now?

2. If I were being that person, what would I believe to be true?

3. If I believed this to be true, what would I be doing?